My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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