NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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