Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
