he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My vagina just clenched in fear
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
