Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
