i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
