so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
