New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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