True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
