The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
lets start a swedish sibling band together
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
