So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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