so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
