I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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