I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
