dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You are a booty call, not a friend.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
