worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
