She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
