omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
