You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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