Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
