remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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