Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
