Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
what day is it and did you see me today?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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