Midget sex pt 2 tonight
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
