I'm lost and stupid without you.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
whose parrot is this?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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