I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
