Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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