My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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