I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
