I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
