people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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