I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
