The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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