Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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