He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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