Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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