you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
