So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
