I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
