just tell him i said nine months
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
