the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
