Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
