ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
