Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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