I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
