What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
