Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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