It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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