TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
