i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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